I complain and feel sorry for myself a lot. I hate that I’m going on 30, going on 2 kids, married and living with my parents. I hate that I can’t make money and be home with my kids at the same time. I also hate the person that misery is making me. I’ve spent months sulking and whining and wishing for praying for things I feel entitled to. I’ve grown bitter and my surroundings have gotten dark. I’m depressed and I’ve put myself here. I keep waiting and hoping for someone to come along and save me, to pull me out of this darkness, hand me what I need, kiss me on the forehead and take care of everything.
Well it ain’t gonna happen
Life is hard. There’s no way around it and unless I choose to take a cowardly and selfish way out of it I need to just suck it up and push along. I believe that this life is a learning ground, where we are tested and pushed and polished. Where we learn to be the best that we can, there are so many life lessons that my young naive self hasn’t even scratched the surface of yet and that scares the hell out of me. There are so many things I don’t want to experience that I’m almost afraid of moving forward because of what challenge I might face next.